What to do when your child turns out missing.

I first want to start by correcting false information that most people are given at the police station when they report their missing loved ones. Parents are told they have to go back home, wait 24 hours, if their child does not come back after that 24 hours,then they can come back and fill in a missing persons report. The truth is there is no 24 hours waiting period for reporting missing persons. The police department has even sent a circular to police stations disclaiming this misleading information. Unfortunately most people are still being turned away. Should you at any point have to open a missing persons case because your child is missing; Please do not allow the police to turn you away. If the police attending you tells you to come back after 24 hours, demand to see the Station Commander and state this fact to them. This could save your loved ones live and possibly make it possible for you to find them in time. The more time lapses between the time they disappear and the time police actively start looking for them, the less likely they are to be found alive. The South African law states that police should act once a case of missing persons has been opened regardless of the amount of time they have been missing.

This wrongful information 24 hours waiting period has resulted in a lot of people not finding their loved ones in time (children being found murdered) as delay in police reaction gives the perpetrators time to take the child even away or to cause them harm. Therefore do not allow anyone to turn you away as they will attempt to do if your child urns out missing. Never leave until a case has been opened and a detective assigned your case. Your loved ones live depends on this.

Steps to take if your child or loved one is missing

  1. Go to the police immediately to open a missing persons case or report the case to the Bureau of missing persons.
  2. Take a picture along so the police will know exactly who they are looking for.
  3. Give the police the missing persons description, their height, weight, any birthmarks and any other descriptions that you can think of that will help police to identify your child.
  4. Try to remember what the missing person was last seen wearing. If you can’t remember don’t feel bad, ask others who have seen them as well. This is crucial information.
  5. Should the police insist on the false 24 hour waiting period, don’t leave the premises. Ask to speak to the station Commander and report the incident.
  6. Alert your family, friends and community members. Community members can give information to the police that would help the case. Put up posters as soon as you can. If your child is still in the area this will restrict the kidnappers movements.
  7. Rather be safe than sorry. If your child is later found, go report their appearance at the police station.

Remember mommy your baby is precious.missing children

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Protecting your child from sexual abuse

Yesterday was  the Dros court case of the man who violated the 7-year-old girl in the restaurants toilets. Currently the case has been postponed to the 28th of November 2018.For now he will be assessed by three mental health professional. This case causes me great pain. It could have been my child, your child, anybody’s child. In a restaurant full of people, how can any parent even suspect anyone of attempting such in such a public space?

This got me thinking about how we can protect our children. How informed are we about child abuse and how it comes into our lives and the strategies molesters use to get our children? Molestation can be an act by a stranger as in the mentioned above case. However most molesters are people known to child and family, at  times they are even family members. They use what is known as grooming.

What is grooming and what does it look like.

Grooming is a process where an abuser who can be male or female, forges an emotional connection with a child and/or the parents with the intention to get them to lower their guard.    The intention being get access to the child and eventually sexually abuse the child :https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_grooming

One of the most important things that you need to know in order to protect your child against abuse is that the majority of perpetrators are people known to the family such as family members, friends and intimate partners. Socially it can be your child’s sport coach, teacher, doctor etc. These people already have your confidence and can worm their way to your child right in front of your eyes, without you suspecting a thing. They will pick their victims carefully. They will play on an insecure child’s need for attention and affection. To you they will come across as being helpful and trustworthy. Parents then let their guard down unknowingly allowing a predator access to their child. This is the grooming process. Molesters also have behaviours that can raise alarms to vigilant parents.

 They tend to be extra nice to your child. They will shower them with gifts and attention. If they are a sports coach or someone who is heading activities your child is participating in-this molester will shower your child with compliments, allow them to do things that other kids are not allowed to do. They will constantly tell you how special your child is. This is a part of the grooming process working in two ways. Other abusers will also try to desensitize your child to sexual contact by slowly introducing them to sexual material and acts, this slowly breaks down the childs defences and normalises the act to your child. Such behaviours will confuse your child and make them believe the abuser when they tell them “even if you tell, no one will believe you” or “you wanted it to happen which why you watched such and such with me”. Blaming the child and making them seem as if they are willing participants then shames the child into silence.

How abusers pick and choose victims

  • Single women can be targets of such molesters. Some molesters will start relationships with women to get close to their children. Once in the relationship, they abuse the partners children.
  • Children with behavioural issues will become targets. A molester has a keen eye and have the ability to spot such children.
  • Children who are from emotionally abusive backgrounds or have parents who are not emotionally or physically available. Such children have low self-esteem that is easily picked up and used against them by abusers.

Remember that even a child from a solid emotionally available background can be a victim. The onus is on you as a parent to be vigilant all the time.

Warning signs of an abuser

  • The adult prefers your child’s company over yours. They are very eager to be left alone with your child. They will offer to baby sit while you go out with other adults.
  • Go by feeling, don’t go by looks. A molester can be a competent, fully functioning member of society. Doctors, sport coaches, pastors etc.…If you initially have a bad feeling about someone who is in contact with your child don’t ignore it until you look further and are 100% sure there is nothing to worry about. Even your church elder or Pastor.
  • A molester can be overly generous to children; they shower them with gifts especially without your knowledge. They also offer them cash to buy things. So if you notice your child having more money than you give them, take it as a red flag. Probe your child, find what is going on.

How to protect your child from abuse

  1. Keep your word to your child. If you make promises keep them. This builds trust. So as a parent say what you mean and mean what you say. This helps children to understand and believe it when you say I will protect you from anyone who tries to hurt you. If someone hurts tell me and I will make them stop. Once they trust and believe this, they will be secure in your parenting an able to tell you when something goes wrong.
  2. Build a positive self-esteem in your child. Give them attention. Be a visible parent at school and at home. Abusers tend to pick insecure little children as they are more likely to keep quiet and not tell.
  3. Teach your child to never keep any secrets. It starts with you. Never do things around your child and tell them not to tell. This will ensure that once someone does something that makes uncomfortable, they tell you because the first thing that person will do is tell them not to tell you. But if your child trust and believes that you love them and will protect them against anything they will say something to you.
  4. Know the adults your child has constant contact with. Coaches, teachers etc. Ask your child about the time they spend together. Things they do that they like and things they do that they don’t like.
  5. Tell them no one should touch them on the privates. Only mommy and daddy or whoever is giving them a bath. Don’t assume the knowledge they are being given in school is enough. Teach them to not allow others to touch them inappropriately. Even if it is not on their privates, any touch they do not feel comfortable in is a no-no. If a touch makes them feel uncomfortable they must move away and tell you. Even if it is someone they love or trust like a doctor, teacher or coach. They must tell.
  6. The internet is full of sick people who share and trade in children’s photos.-naked, half-naked and fully clothed. They will even pick on children to stalk online. Be careful of the pictures you post of your child. Don’t reveal your child’s immediate whereabouts .Post a day later or after you have left that particular place. Avoid putting your child’s school information on the internet. Don’t post where your child goes to school. It allows a predator to know where to find your child.
  7. Know who hangs around your child while you are at work. Does your Nanny have a partner? What do you know about them? Take time to find out. How much time do they spend at the house while you are away? What sort of person are they? This is crucial information.
  8. If your child is suddenly fearful of someone they used to like for no apparent reason, It’s time to dig deeper and ask them what the problem is, don’t assume they are just feeling moody. Signs that your child is experiencing something disturbing will always be. Once again I will say this, be vigilant.
  9. Don’t assume because your child is too young, a boy or stays indoor this cannot happen to them. Also remember most victims of molestation are young boys.
  10. Know the history of adults around you and your child. Some molesters are people who experienced such in their childhoods and never received the help they needed then.

Places to be extra vigilant

  1. In malls and other public places where there are a lot of people around.
  2. In public toilets-boys are easy targets at public toilets especially when they are with their female guardians who cannot go inside the toilet with them. Molesters see this as an opportunity.

Abuse warning signs

  1. Behavioural changes. An abused child will become moody, angry, and fearful and hostile. They will isolate themselves and prefer to be alone.
  2. They will self-harm. They will cut themselves and use other things to bring physical harm to themselves.
  3. Unexplained bruises on the things, privates and other areas in the body.
  4. Refusal to go to certain places or be with a particular person for no apparent reason.
  5. Bed wetting or inability to control bowel movements.

It’s always good to talk to your child about issues such as abuse. Don’t assume the school is doing that.

If your child is being abused report to the police immediately.

And remember mommy your child is precious.

How to teach your child to love their brown skin

I do not remember owning a brown coloured doll. Growing up it never even crossed my mind that a brown-skinned doll that resembles me could be made, a doll that would look like me. The few that I came across looked scary. It was as if they were intentionally made to look ugly. So yes I was not interested in them. The result was that I played with white dolls and loved them to bits. Would having a beautiful black doll that I could relate to have made me appreciate my beauty as a black female even more, probably; made me appreciate my natural Afro hair and brown skin? Would seeing a black doll in different outfits (fashionable and professional like a doctor) subconsciously moulded my mind to believe from an early age that I, as a black girl am beautiful and can achieve anything? Definitely Yes.

DSCN1862.JPGkhanya and her baba

When my daughter was born I made it clear to my family that anyone who wants to buy her a doll has to make sure they buy a brown doll, my reasoning behind the decision is that  I want my child to grow up with an appreciation for her own skin colour. So currently my 9 month old has two dolls, which are brown in colour. Almost the same shade as her. In the future I will introduce dolls of other races, but for now I want her to first understand and appreciate her own kind of beauty.

I recently watched the Clark and Clark experiment that was conducted in the 1940’S-https://youtu.be/PZryE2bqwdk .In the experiment children were shown two dolls. One black and one white, various questions were asked about the dolls. The results were that 63% of the coloured children preferred to play with the white doll. The way they answered questions showed a preference towards the white doll. Same study was conducted again in 2009.The results were that 88% of coloured children now preferred to play with the black doll, even though 47% said that the white doll was the pretty one.

How do we turn to tide through play?

Children’s play is an important part of a child’s development. During play, a child learns social skills, empathy and care. They speak to the doll. Identify with it. And as evident in the Clark and Clark experiment, children even give human traits to dolls such as nice, kind, clever, trustworthy etc.Kids who play with their own skinned dolls from an early age will then grow up with a strong appreciation and love for self.By giving your child a brown beautiful doll and giving the doll positive attributes, it says to the child, you are awesome and beautiful. You then reinforce that by highlighting the beauty of the brown coloured doll. This validates the child’s looks to the child, in the future, even if they are in the presence of their vanilla skinned sisters, they never doubt their own beauty because their kind of beauty was validated from an early age.

Gone are the days when brown dolls were cosmetically different to white ones. Now  ethnic dolls are little fashionistas, melanin popping princesses. Remember the Palesa doll which came out in the early 2000’s.This is the doll that started the revolution here in South Africa. Today’s brown dolls are readily available in chain stores and online shops. They come wearing different outfits from fashionable to traditional attire. They are beautiful with different features. You have dolls from the Sibahle collection from African essentials (see pic below), they have amazing brown dolls in fabulous outfits-the dolls even have a vanilla scent.images_(1)[1]

The onus is now on us parents of pretty brown babies to instil in them a love for self. We need to get our children to accept the melanin and get it popping. One of the ways to do that is to be conscious to the dolls we buy them and the movies they watch. So go ahead and consciously make a decision to include action figures/superheroes and dolls that look like them in their toy collections. Black Panther is one of my sons favourite super heroes alongside Spider-man and Captain America. He can now have a superhero who looks like him, listens to the same music he does(The soundtrack has South African music) which is awesome and as for Khanya, she will eventually figure out that the doll is not just for chewing and relieving sore gums but also playing dress up and talking to…… lol

Remember mommy your baby is precious….

 

 

The big walk 2018 Pretoria

Yes I walked 15 km wearing a pink tutu.

img-20181009-wa0019

The big walk hit town once again as it does every 1st week of October. It is an annual event hosted by the Department of Sport and Recreation. This year was special because it took place in most provinces and we proud Pretorian’s came out in droves to support the Pretoria leg of the event. Purple, orange and lime shirts were everywhere . The weather was nice and sunny with no clouds. The crisp Pretoria breeze was blowing  gently as we got off the car in a hurry to join our fellow fitness bunnies. The walk started at Heartfelt arena at  7:00 am,it took us around the Monumentpark building and ended at Fountains Valley resort, which hosted the kids and adults entertainment. As usual the event did not disappoint. So I will choose to overlook the long wait for the T-shirts, as we had to make several trips to the collection point reason being given was that the supplier did not have adult sizes yet. We finally got them on Saturday. Then the packs did not have a cap and water bottle. Other than that everything was well executed. Family and friends came through so I will choose to focus on the positives.img-20181008-wa0055

I came out with my partner, the kids, friends and their kids, my sisters and their kids, their friends(some came from as far as from Mafikeng in the Northwest). Basically everyone and their mother was there lol –literally. We separated in groups of 3 for the five, ten and fifteen kilometres. My group did the 15 KM after being tricked into a change of direction. The original plan was 10 KM but our leader for the day had other plans. If you would like to know what walking 15 KM does to a person, if you want to know how I feel right now, ask my legs and my bums, but because I had such a great time, I will choose to overlook this as well.We laughed,shared jokes,took a thousand pics,made fun of each other while trying to run up the steep path.Fun times indeed.

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Because of motherhood demands along the way,i had to break away from my pack so I ended up being one of the last people to make it across the finishing line. I stopped several times to breastfeed,I remember I also gave Khanya her brunch during the walk so as you can tell, not forgetting the nappy change.Time was not really that important for me,my aim was just to get there…when i get there.My focus was to make it across the finishing line.So because i was sooo delayed, by the time I got there, the people giving out medals had already packed up but i was just glad that i had made it.A group of paramedics congratulated Khanya and I and gave us their medals which was the sweetest thing ever. They put one around my neck and gently put one around Khanya who was sleeping soundly in her pram.That is how I will remember this walk. How compassionate people chose to give us their medals after a 15 KM walk pushing a pram.Thank you……

One of the highlights for me was the kids play area. There were lots for the kids to do. The staff was friendly and very helpful. The area had video games, jumping castles with foam, mascots, face painting and lots of other exciting thing is for the young ones to participate in. Not forgetting the party packs.

The concert boosted artists such as Sun el musician, Ntando and many more. All in all the day was great. Thanks to the department of sports and recreation. Look forward to another great  one…….img-20181008-wa0013

Being a parent is a hard job so when time allows make time to go out with the kids even if it’s not often.Use opportunities such as these family centred events to pull your friends and family together and have a good time.Look for events around where you live and participate as most of them are free,so its friendly on your pockets.

If you stay around look up the Mandela Centenary walk/run which will be taking place on the 9th December 2018 in the Union buildings.It will be the closing event of the Mandela centenary celebrations.Pull your friends and family together and join other families for a fun family time.

Remember mommy  your baby is precious..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ooooo  of your events.

Public breastfeeding, is it a crime?

 

Does my breast offend you? Is the problem my breast or are you the problem?

I am a breastfeeding mother. So as a breastfeeding mother, it is a concern to me that I am made to feel uncomfortable every time I have to breastfeed my baby in public. In the past, I would even get anxious every time I would be out in public and she would try to wiggle her little body downwards towards my breast for a feed. After some introspection, I found that this anxiety stems from the anticipation of how others around me would react to my bare breast, especially total strangers. Maybe it’s because of the looks of disapproval and the whispering (why is she not covering) that I had experienced previously. Guess I had internalized the negativity. So I would cover my child with a small blanket, I mean that worked for like the first 4 months. Once she could, she waved her little arms around frantically to get rid of the cover, now that she is 8 months old, she will not feed with anything covering her. It is as if she is making her own little statement“You will see me”. So I have come to a point that I’m deciding to put my child first. I will subject myself to looks of disapproval on peoples faces when I breastfeed my child in public. I will risk ridicule and embarrassment, because they are not worth my babies discomfort and tears. I have decided to take a stance due to the fact that my child is not a problem. My breastfeeding is not a problem. My breasts were created to nurse (well that amongst other things).So why is my nursing offending other people’s sensibilities?

The problem is the negative and sexual perceptions tied around women’s breasts. There is a narrative around breastfeeding, that a naked breast of a breastfeeding woman is offensive. What has led to this perception and why are we as women, aiding our perpetrators to continue sexualising our bodies to the peril of our young by hiding what is completely natural? So I’m stepping out to redefine this narrative, by publicly breastfeeding and becoming aloof to anything or anyone surrounding us, by choosing to nourish my child over every and anything.

Challenges impacting on breastfeeding

Not enough awareness 

The WHO speaks highly on breastfeeding; they even recommend that it be practised exclusively for up to 6 months. Clinics and hospitals conduct numerous awareness campaigns, educating mothers on the benefits of breastfeeding-which are numerous. Breastfeeding obviously has financial, psychological and health benefits, no wonder it is an obvious best source of feed for babies less than 6 months. But unfortunately social factors are excluded in the campaigns. While those very social factors play a role in how long women choose to breastfeed. Therein lies the problem. Government and other stakeholders’ campaign for breastfeeding but fail to campaign for an environment that is conducive for women to breast feed. An atmosphere conducive for breastfeeding will deter numbers of women from stopping breastfeeding too soon. I am by no means saying that this is the only reason women choose to wean early but it certainly plays a role. Campaigns dealing with the social factors around breastfeeding will prepare women to deal with the side eye and negative comments they might receive from the public. They will also send a message to the public that there is nothing wrong with a breastfeeding mother, that it is a natural act of nurturing and love. The result will be that women will not be ashamed to breastfeed and will end up breastfeed longer due to an environment that is supportive of maternal issues.

Sexualisation of the breasts

Women’s bodies have been sexualised to a point where context does not matter. Breasts are perceived as objects of male satisfaction. This has resulted in breastfeeding women being made to feel like they are exposing themselves sexually when breastfeeding. Objectification and sexualisation of women’s bodies by men has a narrative. The unspoken narrative that our bodies are for male satisfaction, they (men) determine when and how we use certain parts of our bodies. Anything outside of that makes them uncomfortable because those parts are not being used in their interest. Surprisingly though, it is not just some men who are uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public. Women as well have been known to frown upon breastfeeding mothers for the same reason. By allowing this to continue, we as woman become willing victims of such negative views.

 

Turning Point

It begins with me saying no more. No more will I cover my breast for the sake of unfounded and sexist judgements. It begins with women in general taking charge of their own bodies, feeding their children and not bothering themselves on the negative perceptions. Recognising that the act of breastfeeding is not shameful and does not need to change. Nobody has a right to deter you from feeding your baby with their comments. It is the people who see breastfeeding negatively that have a problem-they are the ones who have to change.

It begins with mothers rallying behind each other, in all sorts of platforms, to name and shame restaurants that do not allow breastfeeding. For mothers to boycott those same restaurants that have policy’s that seek to undermine our right and our children’s rights to feed.

So I take a stand, whether it will make a difference or not-I’m not sure. But what I am sure of is that my baby is happier and calmer in public for the decision and stance I have decided to take.

 

Remember mommy, your baby is precious.

 

 

Hair today….Gone Tomorrow? Taking care of your black babies hair

 

I am one of those lucky moms (for lack of a better word) whose baby was born with a head full of hair. But sadly I had to cut it cause in my culture, babies’ hair has to be cut soon after birth so at 10 days old Khanyas hair was cut because…..I wanted to give you a profound reason but I can’t, I have no idea why. I just know that a child needs to get rid of the hair they are born with.

Taking it back a bit, see when I found that I was pregnant with a girl, all I could think about were tutus, pink tights, hair bows and frilly dresses – most of all, hair in a cute little afro. And maybe on days when we are feeling cheeky, I would let my long dreadlocks down while she walks pretty by my side sporting bantu knots…..such a lovey vision ……but skrrrr back to reality. She is 7 months old now and has typical black African hair. Her hair is beautiful, it is a pitch black mini afro; curly, looks strong but unfortunately it loses moisture quickly, which means that I have to take extra care of how I treat her hair. In the beginning I made a few mistakes due to lack of understanding of how delicate black hair is, but now I think I have it down on lock. We all know being a mother means you wear many caps and hairdresser is one of them. This is why I was not as stressed when my mother gently insisted we give her one last hair cut because now her hair grows faster and is stronger. Gone are the days of breaking hair…phew.

After a recent hair cut.

 

Dealing with the texture of black hair

Any black mother knows how difficult it can be to tame babies hair. And black hair can be tricky .Texture of black hair varies from curly to coily. Because of its texture, moisture in the hair finds it hard to go down the hair shaft. Water and sebum are not able to reach down the  shaft easily like other hair types. This leads to dry, brittle and breaking hair. This breaking is the reason why there is a misconception that black hair does not grow long.

A number of factors also affect the rate at which your babies hair grows. The factors are genes, nutrition and products you use on the babies hair. There is not so much you can do in the genes department, however the other two are factors you mommy have control over. Nutrients in food contribute in helping your babies hair to grow. The proteins and vitamins in food is essential for growth as well as hair development, so feed them foods high in proteins, vitamin A and B . In this article however, I will focus more on the products you can use to repair and maintain healthy hair that does not break.

If you are stressing, trying to figure out ways to grow your baby’s hair and the hair seems to not want to cooperate. You are definitely at the right address because I have been there done that and got the T shirt. The number one culprit could be breakage. Black hair is naturally curly,looks tough and strong yet it is prone to moisture loss. So the number one rule of hair growth is to feed the hair by moisturising it. Always remember that lack or loss of moisture causes a dry scalp and hair breakage. This breakage is the reason why most people feel black hair does not grow I mean if this really was the case would my dreads be this long.So moisture is the key….

Causes of hair breakage in children

  • Dryness caused mainly by over washing and not moisturising the hair correctly
  • Lack of proper nutrition
  • Constant pulling of the hair by combing, putting it into ponytails or braids for the cuteness factor
  • The texture of the hair-since black hair has a curly texture, it loses moisture a lot more than other hair types so hair tends to break as much as it grows. This hinders the length gain.

All of these factors can be dealt with so that your babies’ hair can grow strong. Once your babies’ hair is treated it will grow strong and longer in length guaranteed.

 

Tips to grow your babies’ hair

  • Wash once in a week especially if they don’t get their hair too dirty. If they do you can do it twice a week .Washing my babies hair often is a mistake I used to make. This result was a dry scalp and breaking hair due to moisture loss from constant washing will strip
  • Condition their hair once a week. I personally use Johnson and Johnson baby soft & shiny conditioner. It keeps the hair moisturised and has a great smell too.
  • Use a moisturizer every second day or so. After applying a moisturizer, put oil on the hair to act as a seal. The oil will seal in the moisturizer into the hair.
  • If it is not a hair washing day, just spray with water to add moisture and follow with a small amount of oil. Choose any oil of your choice massaging the scalp for 2-4 minutes. This is easier said than done as most babies don’t appreciate being kept in one spot for too long. But persist finding ways to entertain them while you do this.
  • Make sure the products you are using on your babies hair and skin are suitable for baby by reading the labels at the back. If there is an ingredient you don’t know or understand, search it in google. There is no reason for you to put products that are not safe for your baby and possibly toxic…..just reach out and reach
  • Protect the hair even better by using a satin pillow case for their hair.

Oils to use for babies hair

Oil Benefits
Jojoba oil

Anti-bacterial, Anti-inflammatory, Anti-viral, Hypoallergenic,

Reduces pain, Its highly recommended for hair use as the

composition matches that of the hair oil therefore preventing

dry scalp, adds shine and softens the hair, Strengthens hair from

the inside.

Coconut oil Anti-bacterial, Prevents hair loss by getting deep inside the hair

follicle, Stimulates hair growth, deeply moisturises the hair.

Castor oil Has an anti-bacterial and anti-fungal property, Strengthens weak

hair, helps with dandruff, smooths frizzy hair and aids growth.

Extra Virgin Olive oil Strengthens frizzy hair, Locks in moisture preventing dryness,

stimulates hair growth

Avocado oil

Antioxidant, Anti-inflammatory, strengths, moisturises and

repairs damaged skin. Also makes hair shiny.

*You can add it to your babies’ hair moisturiser.

 

This is daily routine hair schedule

For a sealer I mix

  • Jojoba oil
  • Extra virgin olive oil
  • Bergamot oil

*I mixed equal amounts of oils you can also add in peppermint oil as it gives a great smell and also stimulates hair growth.

  1. To maintain moisture -Daily
  • Spray with warm water
  • Massage the sealer into hair
  1. To moisturise- Second to Third day
  • Sof n free Avo & Honey
  1. To condition-Once a week
  • Johnsons baby conditioner

Good luck growing your precious ones hair. Also remember that the oils work very well on us mommies,especially if you are struggling with growing out your natural hair.

Remember your baby is precious.

 

 

Dealing with your child’s high fever

I recently had a scary experience when I got back from work to find my child Khanya lethargic.She is an overly active child,cannot sit still for even a second kind of girl but on this day she was quite and very subdued.I used my hand to feel her temperature but she felt fine.My mother who takes care of her while i am at work urged me to take her to the clinic.When we got there, the nurse took her temperature which read 39C. Now that,that is the part that scared me.The fact that she had a high temperature and i could not tell.

The nurse gave her an antibiotic injection,she had me take off some of her clothes leaving her with only a light vest.I had to stay at the clinic for an hour,after which the nurse took her temperature again to check if it had dropped to an acceptable degree,which it had.It was now 37C. Which is normal body temperature.All of this lead me to want to find out more about fever.Like what causes it and how can i treat it.This is what i found and would like to share with you.

Normaly the human bodys temperature rises and drops thought the day. So a high temperature can at times be due to being active or too warmly dressed.
Fever on the other hand is your bodies natural reaction to infections.It is your bodies way of getting rid of germs and viruses.Your body raises its temperature when under attack so that the environment becomes inhabitable for the virus or germs to multiply and cause an illness.So having a fever is a clear sign that your body is fighting an illness.

How do you treat a fever?

• If your baby is 3 months or younger,and has a fever,take them to the doctor immediately without delay
• The most important thing you should do is to keep your child hydrated.A feverish
baby looses bodily fluids so ensure they are well hydrated by giving them breast milk.If they do not nurse you can give formula . Juice and water will also suffice.When your baby is hydrated,the fever is likely to go down.
• Make sure the room they are in is cool.You can put on a fan or open a window to let air in.
• Place the child in lukewarm water. Do not put the child in cold water as this will make the body temperature to go up,which is the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.5  minutes should be enough then take then out before the water gets cold and they catch a chill.
• Remove heavy clothes on your baby,put them in light clothing.
• You can make them comfortable by giving them paracetamol (Panado,Capol). I myself prefer suppositories but i use them for a day only, if the fever persist i go to the local clinic or doctor for a consultation.

suppository

Febrile seizures

At times a fever may be accompanied by what is know as a febrile seizure.It will last for a few minutes to 15 minutes.The babies body will twitch or shake.The eyes may also roll back.It is indeed heart breaking to see your child going through this-ask any parent who has been through this.A febrile seizure is a mothers worst nightmare,especially when you first experience for the fist time.

What to do when your child suffers a febrile seizure

• Keep calm,your little ones body might twitch and shake.The eyes can also roll back.Stay calm.
• You can hold them but not too tight or lie them down.Just make sure there is nothing round them that may cause injury.
• Do not put any object in their mouth.
• If they are wearing warm clothes try to gently take them off.
• Remember that there is nothing you can do to stop the seizure,they will stop on their own.Once they stop take your child to the doctor.A seizure can go for a few minutes to 15 minutes.Longer than that could be a sign of a more serious health issue.

Your baby will be fine mommy.Just remember to keep them hydrated during a fever.

When to go to the doctor

  • Baby is 3 months or less and has a high temperature.
  • They are older that 3 months and their temperature is  more than 38C.
  • Your baby has had a temperature for more that 24 hours.
  • Their colour changes on the face.They look pale.
  • They look tired and have no energy.
  • They have difficulty breathing
  • They refuse to nurse or eat.

Fever donts

  • Don’t stay with a feverish child for more that 24 hours
  • Don’t give your baby a cold bath
  • Don’t give your baby Aspirin.It is linked to an illness called Reyes Syndrome which is fatal.